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2008-06-19 10:05:26|  分类: 英文幽默翻译 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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翻译:ChinaOften 

在最近的一次电脑展会上,比尔盖茨在比较计算机和和汽车行业时说:“如果通用汽车在技术上的发展能像计算机行业一样,我们将会驾驶25美元的汽车,每加伦油跑1000英里。

作为对盖茨评论的回应,通用举行了一次新闻发布会,由韦尔奇亲自主持。发布会内容如下:

如果通用的技术发展像微软一样,我们驾驶的车就会出现以下特点:

你的车将毫无原由地每天抛锚两次。

每次重漆路上的标志线时你都要买一辆新车。

偶尔你的车将毫无原由地在高速路上熄火,而你不得不接受这种现实,重启后继续前进。

偶尔,执行一个如左转的动作也会使你的车停工并拒绝重启,在这种情况下你将不得不重装引擎。

Macintosh(微软的一个商务部门)将会制造出一辆由太阳驱动的汽车,质量可靠,速度快五倍,而且更容易驾驶,但是它只能在5%的道路上行驶。

油,水温和发电机警示灯将被一个简单的警示灯取代,那就是:通用默认值

新的位置将迫使每个人都有同样尺寸的屁股。

安全气囊系统将会在启动前询问:你确定要启动吗?

偶尔你的车会毫无原由地将你锁在车外,并拒绝让你进入,除非你同时提起门的把手,转动钥匙并抓住收音机的天线。

通用将要求所有的买主同时购买一套豪华的Rand McNally交通图(现在是通用的附带品),即使他们不需要或不想要。试着删除这个选项将立即导致汽车性能下降50%甚至更多。另外,通用将成为美国司法部的调查目标。

每次通用生产一种新型汽车,买主都不得不重新学习如何驾驶,因为没有一种汽车与先前汽车的操作方式一致。

你按下“启动”键,却可能会“关闭”引擎。

 

英文:

 

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself):

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

Occasionally for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lift the door handle, turn the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

Everytime GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as in the old car.

You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine.

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