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Hello, I'm the host of the blog you're visiting now. Thank you for your presence. I've been working as a teacher of English since ten years ago. Hope we'll be friends.

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超级搞笑国外名人热议:“鸡为什么要过马路?  

2008-10-13 10:10:17|  分类: 英文幽默翻译 |  标签: |举报 |字号 订阅

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Chinaoften译

各国名人,包括美国民主党和共和党的总统候选人,现任总统及前任总统纷纷对这个目前最吸引人的、急待解决的问题给出了自己的解释.....现在就让我们欣赏一下他们的精彩发言。

超级搞笑国外名人热议:“鸡为什么要过马路? - chinaoften - 奥风英语oftenenglish的博客超级搞笑国外名人热议:“鸡为什么要过马路? - chinaoften - 奥风英语oftenenglish的博客

巴拉克·奥巴马民主党总统候选人):

鸡穿过马路是因为到了改变的时间了!这只鸡需要一些变化!

约翰·麦凯恩共和党总统候选人):

我的朋友们,那只鸡穿过马路是因为它意识到与马路对面的所有鸡进行合作与对话的必要性。


萨拉·佩林(麦凯恩的竞选搭档):

自由媒体所说的鸡穿过的马路?

哦,那条路不通向任何地方,我告诉国会并就此表达了谢意。所以那只鸡根本无路可以穿越,任何报导与此相异观点的记者都应被解雇。



希拉里·克林顿(美国前总统夫人):

当我是第一夫人时,我亲自帮助那只小鸡穿过了马路。

这种经历使我在第一天就能确保一切都向着正确的方向发展,确保这个国家的每一只鸡都获得其应有的穿过这条马路的机会。但是,这真的与我无关。

乔治·布什:

我们并不在意鸡为什么要穿过马路。我们只想了解那只鸡是否和我们站在马路的同一边。它只能要么反对我们,要么支持我们,没有中间路线。

迪克·彻尼(美国副总统):

我的枪哪儿去了?

克林·鲍威尔(美国国务聊)

现在看屏幕的左方,你可以清晰地看到那只鸡的卫星图像,它正穿越马路。

比尔·克林顿

我没有和那只鸡一起穿越马路。你对鸡的定义是什么?

戈尔(美前副总统):

我发明了鸡。


约翰·克里(2004年美国民主党总统候选人)

虽然我表决时同意那只鸡穿过马路,但现在我反对它这样做!

这不是一条可以穿越的正确的路,我被鸡的意图迷惑了。我现在不在支持它,将来会继续反对它。


阿尔·夏普顿(黑人运动领袖,曾参与竞争美总统候选人资格):

为什么所有的鸡都是白的?我们需一些黑鸡。


菲尔博士(著名
人类行为问题专家,电视节目主持人):
现在的问题是这只鸡没有意识到在着手解决路对面的问题前他必须首先处理这面的问题。我们需要做的就是帮助它认识到在现在的问题解决前再增加新的问题是多么的愚蠢。


奥普拉(美国最受欢迎电视人,哈泼娱乐集团公司董事长):

我清楚那只鸡正面临一些问题,这就是它急着要穿过马路的原因。所以为了不让这只鸡摔跤,这在它生活中是常有的事,我准备给它一辆车,以便于它能够驾驶着穿过马路,不再过像其他鸡一样的生活。

安德森·库珀(CNN“安德森·库珀360°”主持人)

我们有理由相信有一只鸡,但是我们并没有被允许去马路的另一边。


南希·格雷斯(CNN《法庭电视》主持人):

那只鸡穿过马路是因为它有罪!你可能从它的眼睛和走路的方式里看出这一点。


派特·布坎南(CNN前任政治评论员,美国民粹主义者):

为了窃取体面、勤劳的美国人民的工作。


玛莎·斯图亚特(“玛莎生活”综合传媒公司的前董事长兼首席执行官,后因涉嫌证券欺诈交易被起诉)

没有人告诉我那只鸡要走哪条路。我告诉法莫尔超市当价格降到一定程度时,就出售我的鸡蛋。没有小鸡给我透露过任何内部消息。


苏斯博士(美国最著名的童书作家):

那只鸡穿过马路了吗?我过马路时有没有与蛤蟆一起?是的,那只鸡穿过了马路,但是没有人告诉我它为什么要这么做。




 

欧内斯特·海明威

为了能够在雨中,独自死去。


杰瑞·法威尔(近年来以倡导反同志运动,以及扩展右翼基督教使之崛起成为美国一股庞大的政治势力而闻名):

因为那只鸡是同性恋!难道你们看不到这明摆着的事实吗?

那就是为什么他们把它叫“另一边”。是的,朋友们,那只是鸡是同性恋。如果你吃了它,你也会变成同性恋。

我提议我们抵制所有鸡直到我们找出令人厌恶的,自由媒体用表面上看来毫无危害词“另一边”来描述的这只鸡。那只鸡不应穿越马路。就这么简单。

爷爷:

我们那时候从不问那只鸡为何穿过马路。有人告诉我们那只鸡去了马路的另一边,这就足够了。

芭芭拉·沃尔特斯(美国著名电视主持人):

这不是很有趣吗?很快,我们就会听到这只鸡首次给我们讲述它是如何在经历一次严重的脱羽事件后,仍继续穿越马路,实现自己一生梦想的温暖人心的故事。

亚里士多德:

穿越马路这是鸡的本性。

约翰·列侬(英国著名摇滚乐队“披头士”成员):

想想吧,世界上所有的鸡一起和平地穿越马路会是一种什么景象!

比尔·盖茨:

我刚刚发布了2008电子鸡,它不仅会穿越马路,还会下蛋,编档保存你的重要文件,并让你的帐本保持平衡。

互联网是2008电子鸡内在的一部分。这种新的平台将会更稳定,永远也不需要重启。


阿尔伯特·爱因斯坦:

究竟是鸡穿越了马路,还是鸡脚下的路移动了?

山德士上校(肯德基创始人):

我漏掉了一只鸡吗?


 

Famous people answer that all important, burning question....


BARACK OBAMA(民主党总统候选人巴拉克·奥巴马:)
The chicken crossed the road because it was time for change !
The chicken wanted change !


JOHN MC CAIN(共和党总统候选人约翰·麦凯恩):
My friends, that chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

 

SARAH PALIN(麦凯恩的竞选搭档萨拉·佩林):
That road the liberal media claim that chicken crossed?
Well that is the Road to Nowhere, and I told Congress
“Thanks but no thanks” to that. So there isn’t any road for that chicken to cross and any reporter who says otherwise ought to be fired.

 

HILLARY CLINTON(美国前总统夫人希拉里·克林顿):
When I was First Lady, I personally helped that little chicken to cross the road.
This experience makes me uniquely qualified to ensure right from Day One!
that every chicken in this country gets the chance it deserves
to cross the road.. But then, this really isn't about me.

 

GEORGE W. BUSH(美现任总统乔治·布什):
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road.
We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not.
The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here.


DICK CHENEY(美国副总统迪克·彻尼):
Where's my gun?


COLIN POWELL(美国国务聊克林·鲍威尔):
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the
satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

 

BILL CLINTON(美前总统)
I did not cross the road with that chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

 

AL GORE(美前副总统戈尔):
I invented the chicken.


JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it!
It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the
chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

 

AL SHARPTON:
Why are all the chickens white? We need some black chickens.


DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's acting by not taking on his current problems before adding new problems.

 

OPRAH:
Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a car so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.


ANDERSON COOPER, CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not
yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

 

NANCY GRACE:
That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty !
You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

 

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

 

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs
when the price dropped to a certain level .
No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

 

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die . In the rain. Alone.

 

JERRY FALWELL:
Because the chicken was gay! Can't you people see the plain truth?
That's why they call it the 'other side.' Yes, my friends,
that chicken is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become gay, too.
I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like 'the other side.' That chicken should not be crossing the road.
It's as plain and as simple as that.

 

GRANDPA:
In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road.
Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road,and that was good enough.

 

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

 

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

 

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together, in peace.

 

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2008, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2008.
This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

 

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?


COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

 

 

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